I love photography. And the more I learn about it, the more I love it. I love spending time with families; capturing moments that will never come again. Births, weddings, engagements, deployments, homecomings. All fleeting moments that I am able to freeze for them. I know how important it is to have these special moments documented but no matter how important it is I still HATE being on the other side of the camera. Most of the time I refuse to have my pictures taken. Or at least I did until my daughters first Christmas. I was still one month postpartum and struggling with self esteem thanks to my post baby body and had no desire to relinquish the camera to my hubby. I spent a wonderful day with my family and the next day I sat down at my computer to begin editing. I was looking through all of the pictures of my husband and two beautiful children. I loved all of the pictures but realized when I came to the last photo that I wasn't in a single one. My baby's first Christmas had come and gone and there was nothing to show that I had even been there. That broke my heart. I tried to make more of an effort to get in front of the camera more often but quickly realized that wasn't enough. I needed to also be kind to myself when I look at my pictures. I, like so many others, am so harshly critical of myself. Critical of my body that has changed so much after having 3 kids. I am trying to change that. Trying to show myself more grace. Trying to set an example for my girls, and for my son. Trying not to say things about myself that I would never say, or want my children to say about anyone else. The fact is this body has grown, delivered and nourished three precious babies and it deserves more respect than to have me hating it so much.
So here I am, with my three beautiful children. I hope that when they look at these they will remember an afternoon filled with fun and laughter, because I know I will.
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